Man, I had a new years resolution to write more and looks like I'm going to average about one a month. No biggie, I'm in it, and that's what matters. Speaking of being in it... life has proved to be somewhat challenging as of late. Ben and I are working our way into 3 years of marriage. The reality of settling into the daily grind has established far sooner than I ever imagined when I was just a girl picturing a life full of a marital bliss. The honeymoon phase dissipates; work and children become the norm while individual interests and passions are placed on the back burner. That is the truth of marriage; the part that no one tells you about up front. But if you’re a couple that truly wants to exist as one, you learn to deal, cope, strategize, and make due while the hard times pass, and most importantly to survive.
Not to sound all dark and drably because Ben and I have been so blessed in so many areas. But as I mentioned, the daily grind has begun to take a toll on the everyday ease of being in love. Last night we went to bed without really embracing or appreciating one another. At 4:20 in the a.m. he came down to hug me bye as he was leaving for a 3 day “work” conference in Orlando. I say “work” because last November I had the opportunity to go with him to one of these conferences. Maximized Living has a way of really revving you up and wanting you to achieve a better you. When I came back home after the last conference I had so much energy and passion to kick the tail end of the semester in the caboose! My studies have nothing to do with chiropractic, but I was charged to go and do better, make a difference. However, tonight they are out watching Circ De Soleil- Something I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO!! It’s hard for me not to grudge his trip away with 4 young women, but I have to learn to look on the bright side of things. While he’s away, the house is still. Austyn went down early, and I’m able to sit here in peace. Both of my dogs are curled on the couch with me while I blare (in my opinion) good music and write my little heart away. This is something that I constantly complain about not having time to do. It’s so cliché but the heart really does grow fonder with distance and time. Ben and I come from a long road of waiting and space between us. What a little feat this will be.
I have upcoming boards and Praxis exams within the month. My stress levels are at an all-time high. While I have struggled to obtain this Master’s degree for the last 7 years I know that the hard work is soon to be behind me. I’m looking forward to focusing on my day time job of an SLP and every other waking minute doing what I’m most passionate about- being a wife and mother. If I haven’t put it into words lately: I love my little girl more than anything in the world. She deserves everything that her Father and I could possibly give her, which is why Ben and I are in the daily grind to begin with. To make ourselves better not only for us and our daughter, but for the Maker who gave us the opportunities to stand where we are in the first place. “Life is too short to be anything but kind to one another” (I was told this tonight by an unexpected friend). I will strive to carry that with me within my marriage when I’m doubting or self- loathing. I will take this with me when I’m at work or at school. I will do my best to display this so that my daughter has a good example to live by. So thank you to the one who shared that piece of kindness with me tonight. You helped me see the light for which I’ve been searching for lately. =)